Ici le venin de la haine coule dans nos vies comme dans nos veines

Bonsoir my dear readers! You might wonder if I’ve turned French during this inexcusably long Blogger silence but I assure you this isn’t anything serious, just another obsession. You’ve been missing my crazy rants, haven’t you? Well, let’s not keep you waiting any longer. On to the crazy place called my mind!

THIS! Oh Gackt, this is the best thing since Elisabeth! That French guy’s voice! *-* This song! WHY oh why didn’t I find this musical last year when I needed the inspiration to study French for the matriculation examination? Well, if I’d have found this earlier it would have been even bigger a pain to wait for the Takarazuka version… I mean, Oh Gackt (yes, again) I NEED to see, no OWN this on DVD… And since there are two versions, the Hoshigumi one with Kaname as Tybalt and the Yukigumi one with Chigi as Mercutio I obviously need them both. I want to be poor and happy SO badly right now. *insert more excited rant here*

Other than that, I’ve started a tumblr blog just for the sake of spam. As you can see, it doesn’t necessarily lessen the spam in my other blogs. Sorry about that, but that’s just the way I am. ^^

THEN! (I am slightly stressed/fatigued/depressed so I write even more colourfully than usually. :'D) I had my hair cut AGAIN last Wednesday. ♥

Ahaha, a weird picture but whatever. I finally got the short-on-the-back-longer-on-the-front ‘bob’ I’ve been dreaming of since I don’t even know when. Have a look at these next bad quality webcam photos:

The hair is super short (on my scale, at least) at the nape of the neck. It’s a bit like one of Victoria Beckham’s bobs, except that Posh obviously wears her hair better than me and my hair is cut straighter than hers. Or something. My English totally fails me, sorry. x3 AND I’ve noticed (again) that I am terrible at doing my hair. ♥ Well, time to learn, right?

I’m 99,9% sure that I’m going to die of lack of sleep, stress and overall exhaustion next week… Or maybe of Zuka angst, we’ll see.

On a not as random a thought as that previous paragraph, I got a dataliittymä as a Christmas present. Sorry for the lack of interest to find out what it would be in English, but basically it means that I can surf in the net on my phone to my heart’s content anytime I want, almost anywhere I want. The best thing? My dad can’t stalk the times I use the net. ♥ So I can stay up ‘til four a.m. doing nothing useful and die of tiredness the next day. ♥ This is one of the reasons I am definitely going to die sooner than expected.

RANDOMNESS IS RANDOM. Over and out. ♥

Dieu, que les hommes, sont durs
Que les hommes, sont sûrs d'eux
Oh ! Dieu, que les hommes, sont durs
Que faut-il donc qu'on fasse
Pour que tu accordes ta grâce
Dieu toi qui nous a mis sur la terre
Pourquoi nous forcer à nous taire
Et regarder, mourir les hommes

Infection

(I seem to have fallen to the level where all my titles are song names. :'D)

It’s time for apologies and explanations again. Sorry for the lack of updates. School is eating up all my free time and I haven’t slept nearly enough in the past four weeks or so. Also, my fever at the beginning of the month extended and I also caught an eye infection, so I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather. I’m already healing up, so there’s no need to be too worried.

I’ve failed a lot, due to the illness (I hope). On the 13th I managed to lose my phone. The next Monday I lost my bus card. I was so frustrated I can’t put it into words! I’d probably lose my own body if it were possible. -____-'' Well, the good news is I got a new phone! Here she is:

My new Nokia 5230. The Siren ~Redemption~ (No, I still haven’t got rid of my habit of giving names to my electronical devices.)

~♥~

On the 22nd I attended the much anticipated gig of D’espairsRay, without any make-up due to the eye infection. I had lessons until four o’clock, so I headed to Helsinki straight from school. I got my new bus card first and then went to grab a little something to eat and drink before the gig with Zara and Sami. Taitti joined us when we were already queuing inside. I started to panic about getting a right-sized tour shirt, as I always do, but in the end both me and Taitti got our shirts and found a good place to enjoy the gig from, right next to the mixing table.

The set list was amazing. No, I’m not just saying, it really was that good. The only song I still missed was Reddish, but other than that I was completely blown away. The first two songs, BORN and Marry of the blood, had me thinking I must have died and gone to heaven. The rest of the songs didn’t let me down either. Garnet, fuyuu shita risou and DEATH POINT kept the mood up, but when they played dope, 13 -thirteen-, Love Is Dead and Damned in a row I was on Cloud nine. I enjoyed in vain and Devils' Parade, but Abyss got me a little distracted from the show, as I hadn’t paid it all that much attention when listening to MONSTERS. Lost in re:birth wasn’t my favourite song either, but Hollow got me back on track again. I was more than happy listening to Human-clad monster and REDEEMER, and then Abel to Cain made me go wild. The encore with forbidden, TRICKSTeR and MIRROR was great, but I felt a bit unsatisfied with the lack of Reddish. Both me and Taitti were all “So when will we see D’espairsRay again?” afterwards and were sad to read about the break they are taking after this tour. But as long as Hizumi will get his vocal cords in shape again it’s all good. Thank you for the amazing show again, D’espairsRay!

~♥~

I’ve actually been a bit depressed lately, probably due to the shortening days of autumn. I’ve been forced to wake up at 5:40 a.m. for way too many mornings in a row and it’ll only get worse after the (heavenly!) autumn break of 11 days starting next Thursday. Technically we aren’t allowed to eat anything in our classroom at school, so I’ll have to start having breakfast at home rather than just taking my morning tea and sandwiches with me when I leave the house. This means that I’ll have to wake up at 5:20 practically every weekday morning. I do not approve of this! Well, I can’t really complain since I was the one to decide I’d go to school so far away from home, but still. >.<''

Okay, enough of that rant for now. If I won’t update my blog too frequently from now on it’s just that I’m depressed and tired, that’s all. But! On to nicer subjects!

Dad bought me the cutest bottle of champagne ever!

(Sorry for the bad photo – as always. x3) Look, my Nicolas Feuillatte is wearing a pink winter coat! Just how cute is that? :D Now all I need is a pink coat with white fur for myself and a chihuahua with a matching outfit and I’m all set for a very chic New Year’s party or something. xD

Also, I got a gorgeous pocket watch from my dad! He already had one that used to belong to his uncle or grandfather, so he gave the other one to me. :D

*____* I don’t know where I’m going to wear it, but its cool. A great piece of accessory for a gothic photo shoot, don’t you think? I just need a chain for it…

~♥~

Last Friday was an exciting one. ;) Zara totally got me a heart-attack by texting me that she had got this:

My Miki in Budokan! *q* I left the house in the morning thinking that my life would be complete once I would get my hands on my new baby in the evening. But before that, I had to visit two museums with the other first-year artisan students from our school and then spend the afternoon in Helsinki with Taitti. We were going to buy some new Neopikos from Stockmann, since they had the big sales (Hullut päivät), but decided against it in the end. I bought some stuff for school, the seventh volume of Vampire Knight manga and, you got it right, nail polish. *sigh* I was only going to get myself a new base coat, but then I got my eyes on this:

OPI Kinky in Helsinki! (VERY inaccurate photo colour-wise. It’s much more… not-red IRL, more like magenta. Go Google it, it’s a pain to capture on camera but I’ll try again tomorrow with natural light.) My face was probably something like this: O________________O when I spotted the display next to all the other OPI polishes. My limited-edition-obsessed mind forced me to buy a bottle without stopping to think about it for one second. Luckily I’m absolutely loving it on my nails. ♥__♥

Now on to the curious case of Miki in Budokan. I went to see Zara straight from Helsinki and had to do a lot of self-restraining in order not to drool all over the package during the ten-minute train trip to Sello where my parents picked me up on their way to the grocery store. Once I was finally home, I went straight upstairs and plugged in the VCR. It was at this point that I realized what a huge failure of a nerd I am. The Japanese have their videos in NTSC format whereas our VCR can only play PAL videos. All I saw on the TV screen was a white mess and the sound was too slow and overall weird. I must have flipped because at first I couldn’t do anything but laugh so hard at myself for being an idiot and then I started to frantically search the net for any information on how to get my hands on a VCR that can play NTSC videos. So far it has proven to be quite difficult, but I’ll try searching through flea markets and recycling centres when I find the time. Gosh I wish I had more intelligence in my brain…

~♥~

Well, I could keep on ranting about my angst for the whole night, but I guess it would be unhealthy for me and very unpleasant to my readers, so maybe I’ll just keep all the gory details of how the Tarja/Nightwish-deal still gets me depressed to myself. Hopefully I’ll have a nicer post for you next time. (There’ll probably be some major Mizu!fangirling, since I’ve ordered myself a few new things from Japan~ :D

Until then, dears! ♥

P.S. DAMNIT, if only I had waited for 21 more minutes to publish this… I didn’t realize 10/10/10 at 10:10 would happen twice if you’re using a.m./p.m. time format. >.<''

P.P.S. I’ve got to do this now so that I won’t forget…

I got this Beautiful Blogger Award from Zara. I have to share seven facts about myself and then tag seven people to do the same. I’ll tag all my readers, because I don’t like to spam people’s comment boxes with things like this, even though this is a nice award and everything. :'3

1. I feel like a failure. Mostly because, even though I’m studying to become an artisan, I feel like I have no direction in my life and I get absolutely nothing done.

2. I’ve inherited a tendency to get depressed during the darker months of the year from my mom.

3. I’ve also inherited her genes that allow me to eat practically anything and still stay thin.

4. I always try very hard to please other people and I sometimes get all worked up because I can’t please everyone at the same time.

5. I tend to get some sort of an identity crisis every other month or so, due to an obsession or the previous fact.

6. I feel like I’ve failed in English again in this post and it bothers me very much, as always.

7. I’m a procrastinator and a perfectionist. NOT a good combination, I can tell you. I always get depressed over things I haven’t done but it doesn’t make me do them any faster. *ahem* driving lessons, taiji and student card *ahem*

Music, please!

Because I need to listen to something. Other than that, that title doesn’t have anything to do with this post. ^^

I feel like I’m mentally unstable at the moment. I thought writing would help so I’m updating my blog. I’m feeling down and get upset over every little thing that goes wrong. It must have something to do with the fact that I haven’t seen any of my friends in a week or so. I really need to learn to just grab that phone and call someone. My family has been bugging me about it, too, when I mentioned that there hasn’t been much going on in my life. Well, after next Tuesday I will call someone. Definitely. Unless someone calls me first. ^__~

Why only after next Tuesday, then? Because I already have plans for the weekend. From tomorrow on I’ll officially be a godmother. Whee, I’m so excited! But at the same time I’m so nervous. I’m not so sure if I’m ready to be an adult yet, having so much responsibility… It’s a scary thought in a way. People trust me and I’ll show them that I am trustworthy.

I'm heading off to my own godparents’ summer cottage on Sunday. I’m so happy about that, too! I used to spend a lot of time there a few years back but last year we only went there once. It’s been almost eleven months since I was there and I was getting worried about it. I thought something had happened and that we wouldn’t be welcome anymore. Luckily, I was wrong. I’ll be there at least till the next Tuesday, so you probably won’t hear much of me before that. They do have Internet over there, though, so you’ll never know…

My little sister is heading off to Jersey for a language course and I’m guessing it’s going to get a lot more quiet and peaceful over here. I can already hear the pressing silence. Someone please save me! (LoL) And I bet that all of my friends have plans for days when I’m at home and the other way round. –__-

Hmm. This post won’t be as long as the two previous ones. I’ll have to wake at 4:30 am to see my little sister off. If someone happens to be at the airport at 5 o’clock in the morning, do come to say hi to me! :P

Let’s finish this post with a nail polish photo! OPI Yoga-ta Get This Blue as promised.

Not a very summery colour, this one. I guess this would be my perfect blue but somehow I’m not really feeling that. A bit too cold for summer, don’t you think? Rationally thinking this should be my favourite nail polish ever; I would have killed for this one a few years back but now… I guess I’ve moved back over to the red side. Maybe in the next winter, when the slight tan has disapeared from my hands, I’ll spend my time marvelling over this perfect blue against my pale skin. Or actually, maybe I’m just sad because I cut my nails a bit and can’t feel any love for them at the moment… Or then it’s only because of that monopolizing I’m Not Really A Waitress. I shouldn’t have tested this polish yet anyway. Blue nails probably won’t go too well with my pink dress. (Yes, still wearing it. I tried to make a new dress, a blue one at that, for Kat’s graduation but it turned out so hideous I can’t wear it. I guess that after tomorrow I’ll have about 10 months to make a dress for my own graduation… Or maybe I’ll just make something for my dad’s 50th birthday in September…)

I knew it, writing did help! I’ve all but forgotten my previous anxiety. My parents are very sceptical about the usefulness of having a blog but they are wrong. ^^ Even when there aren’t too many people reading this, it’s nice to write. And with a couple or readers insisting that I keep updating I can’t just dump the whole thing like I did with most of my diaries.

Good night now, I’ll be back in town on Tuesday at the earliest. (Unless I decide to update tomorrow…) Till then, dearies! ♥

P.S. Sorry, I just had to add this… I’ve somehow started to drool over a Vivienne Westwood necklace. (This one.) What’s wrong with me, wanting something so expensive? ;;__;; But it’s so pretty~! If someone wants to get me a birthday present… ;P

Lots of stupidity and some bad luck

Two posts on the same day? (Well, technically no, since it’s already past midnight.) Wow, that’s a first! For Taitti, since you asked for more frequent updates. ^^

First of all, I’m sorry. Am I starting to sound like a broken record already? x) I’m sorry for not updating as often as you would like, and I’m sorry for being a loser when it comes to cellphones. I keep missing calls when I’m at home because I a) am on the other side of the house or b) have accidentaly left my phone on silent mode and thus can’t hear the call/text message. I usually remember to check my phone when I’m going to bed and it’s usually too late then to answer missed calls/text messages. So if I’m not answering my phone, it probably doesn’t mean that I’m avoiding you, just that I have once again failed to hear my phone. >-<''

So, about my life. ^^ Last Thursday I decided to prove myself that I really do burn in sun in twenty minutes. Here’s the proof:

And that’s four days after I burned my feet. Here’s what happened. I was sitting in our garden with my mom. I swear I sat there for twenty minutes max. and didn’t think anything of it at first. I only noticed how badly my feet had burned when I had been inside for about ten minutes. Suddenly I just felt tingling pain on my feet, as if little ants were biting me or something. So I looked at my feet and this is what I saw! My poor feet have been suffering a lot lately. All of my shoes abrade my feet on different places and it has been a pain to walk for longer distances. I’ve been sunbathing in my swimsuit with socks on my feet. x) Me and shoes really don’t go together all that well. I always go for good looks before comfort. Will I ever learn?

Okay, enough with my hideous feet. We’ll soon get to the bad luck part but before that, there are some happier things to write about. I was in Denmark for the weekend, for my very dear friend Kat’s graduation. The actual party was on Saturday, but we flew to Copenhagen on Friday and had some quality time as a family in Tivoli. Our plan was to go to eat something and possibly try out a few rides while we were there. My sister had never been to Tivoli, even though we have been to Denmark countless times. Well, she didn’t take any rides in the end but in Copenhagen’s Tivoli the rides are not the main point. I would have liked to go to The Demon, the coolest rollercoaster I’ve ever tried (not that I’ve tried so many, but anyway) but I didn’t want to go alone and nobody else seemed interested. My dad would have been interested to ride this year’s new ride, The Flight, but it seemed way too crazy for us and we convinced dad to stay away from it. Dad actually said that he should ride it to prove that he is a tough guy. To me it sounds ridiculous. We told him that he was already a tough duy, no need to risk his guts.

Then, somehow, me and dad ended up doing something I thought I absolutely could’t survive. We rode the world’s tallest carousel. The Star Flyer. My first thought when I saw that thing was something along the lines of: “That’s the one I’ll never try. The scariest thing ever”. I really almost got sick by just looking at it. Seriously, swing carousel has been one of my favourite rides but when it comes to swinging at 80 meters above the ground – you can count me out. I am somewhat afraid of heights and certainly not a daredevil. I can’t understand how I ended up here:

You couldn’t tell how scared we were by looking at this. Well, dad played it cool, so it might be that I was the only one about to faint here. The thought of going up to 80 meters and then start spinning at the pace of 70 km/h in those tiny benches wasn’t the most pleasant one, either.

Me and my dad would be the ones inside that red circle. Heading up, scared to death in my case. Dad was giving me a kind advice of not looking down, which I was all too willing to take to my heart. “Look at the horizon and try to focus your eyes on some spot occasionally, so you won’t feel sick.” It wouldn’t have been all that bad if the swings didn’t start to swing so that at times I was facing the ground and at other times all I could see was blue sky. I was so afraid that I would slip out of the swing and fall head first to the ground. Here’s the best pic I could find with the carousel at the highest point.

We made it safely back to the ground, obviously, but I was still shaking for a good ten minutes after we had got off. It turned out that dad had been holding on to the bars for his dear life; the imprints on his palms lasted as long as my shaking. It was scary. Was it worth it? Definitely. How I feel about it now? I’m so proud I could do that. I could conquer my worst fears and didn’t even puke or faint. Would I do it again? Possibly, now that I know I actually can live through something like that. But not too soon. I’m starting to feel dizzy for thinking about it too much.

On Saturday, we went to eat breakfast to Nyhavn and then did some window shopping. The party started at two o’clock and we stayed at Kat’s house afterwards. We slept at hotel and came back on Sunday morning all packed up for our trip back home. Overall we had a great time in Denmark, only the last hour we spent in the country was not so pleasant.

We had arrived to the airport, ready to just drop our bags and head over to do some airport shopping but things didn’t go all that smoothly. The airport was crowded and the line to Finnair’s check-in and baggage drop moved on slowly as a snail. No, the snail would have been faster. In the end, we had to go straight to the gate, no time for shopping or eating. But the real misfortune awaited us in Finland.

When we got to the Helsinki-Vantaa Airport, we didn’t get our luggage. As it turned out, our luggage was lost somewhere at the Copenhagen airport, along with about twenty other people’s. My biggest concern (lol, not really) was that dad had bought me a new OPI nail polish before we left to Denmark, and chances were I might never see it again. Overall I didn’t have anything extremely important in our luggage but some little things I use every day. We had to go shopping for essentials on Monday, since Finnair said they didn’t have any idea of where our bags were. We were all getting very irritated, it’s been long two days. Luckily, my dad got a phone call this evening, saying our luggage was coming with the next flight from CPH, which would land at 0:30 am. We actually got our bags back just now, my parents were already sleeping so I had to wake mom to sign the papers. I’m so relieved!

On a side note, if anyone wants to come to swim, our pool is open! I really enjoyed swimming today, the water nicely warm, around +27°C. When I finally got into the water, after a couple of minutes of consideration, I didn’t want get out. Ah, joy. If the promised heat will be too much for you on Thursday, come to swim! A good advertisement, right? I really wouldn’t mind throwing a pool party for my friends at some point.

Well, since I’ve finally got my hands on OPI Yoga-ta Get This Blue you’ll probably see a swatch of it sometime soon. I’m wearing I’m Not Really A Waitress right now though and I wouldn’t want to take it off! Just my colour…