Draw back those tears, you’re not dying inside

Warning: Obsessed rant for the first 3 paragraphs. Skip these if you aren’t interested/don’t have time etc. ^^

I’m trying really hard to convince myself that I don’t need or even want that DVD. I’m thinking rationally here (just what my parents want me to do); almost 130€ for a DVD is way too much. When my obsession has faded away, I might be pretty pissed at myself for throwing away that much money. Maybe. Just a few weeks ago I thought about buying that Vivienne Westwood necklace at almost the same price. At some point I was seriously considering buying a BJD.

“Let’s not buy these yet, consider it a bit more”, said my dad with a not so pleased look on his face. ;;__;; But… I’m still obsessed! I want to have a DVD with Mizu Natsuki as Death in it. >:( “It’s overpriced. No-one should buy a DVD that expensive.” Yeah, yeah, I know, right. But that’s the cheapest it’ll get. And there’s this one single website from where I’d be able to get it. It’s the 2007 version, who knows how few of them they have in stock!

I’ll just have to bear with this for a while. Obsessions will be replaced with something else, eventually. Some day I’ll thank myself for not buying it. *Has reasoned enough with herself*

Okay, moving on to other subjects. ^^

Today we went to Lahti to see my grandparents and two cousins. It was fun, because the two cousins of mine live in Puolanka and I’m lucky if I get to see them once a year. And they are so cute. *__* They are 14 and 11. :3 Too bad my sister couldn’t meet them…

Me today. ^^ Why so serious? x)

Tigerlily from our garden. ^^ Macro photography, for once.

My new necklace. ^^ It’s a heart-shaped cage which can be opened and you can fill it with whatever you like. I’ll probably try to find a dark pearl or something, because the rose quartz I currently have doesn’t really show well against skin.

Then, here are some of my goals for the future. (Hopefully I can achieve some of these before school starts.)

-Have straighter back/posture.
-Be more flexible.
-Have more flesh between skin and bones.
-Weight at least 45 kg.
-Read for the final exams.
-Become more elegant.
-Learn to dance.

I feel empty, somehow. But I’ll play strong and happy, hiding behind the smiling mask. ^^ It can’t be that hard. I’ve swallowed back my tears for today. ^^

^^ ^^ ^^ Whee-hee. ^^ Convincing, no?

P.S. I became a member of Versailles' Street team (Finland) today. Yayy! ^^ I'm honestly so happy and excited about that!